Car Wash Season

So today...I HAD to do it. I had put up with our messy vehicle for as long as I could. It honestly looked like we live on a dirt road in the back woods. It was terrible. Its usually my hubby that does this...but today, it got the best of me!

I paid the machine, the barrier raised so I could move forward then I come to this track that I have to align the vehicle in, which I did. THEN....flashing at me are these lights that say,

- "put your car in neutral"
- "take your foot off of brake",

- "hands off of steering wheel."

Now I have been in a car wash before...but today...it really struck me. First of all, practically speaking, we are told to put the car in neutral, keep our feet off the break and hands off the steering wheel, cause this track is going to be leading us and pulling our vehicle thru the wash. Besides...once you get in there...there is so much going on around you you cannot see in front of you, to the sides or to the back. You wouldn't be able to do anything yourself if you WANTED to, cause you can't see!!

This was a wonderful word picture that the Lord spoke to me this morning. I've been in an interesting season and don't really understand all He is doing. Its difficult for a Type A, driven and "in control" person to not be in control and to not be moving herself somewhere. It is a little dis-orienting.

My husband and I have had MULTIPLE conversations of what God is doing...it's difficult not to know. It really is. But I trust Him. Just like I got into that car wash tunnel...I didn't worry about what all was going on around me, or where it was leading me...I knew I was going to come out on the other side and see even more clearly than I did when I went in. It was making things better!!

Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plans of man, but the Lord directs his steps". Or if you look at it in The Message it says "We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purposes prevails".

LOVE The Message. It is a blessing to know that GOD's purposes are going to prevail. As long as we continue to put our lives in neutral, take our feet off the break, and hands off the steering wheel...and let HIM lead or "drive us" so to speak.

We may not know where in the WORLD we're going or what in the world we are doing...but we trust him. We know HE knows what's going on.

I want to end this post with the words of a song by Jenn Johnson and Ian Mcintosh. It has really ministered to me today...and I pray it does you as well. When we can't see anything else...God is who we look to!!

God I Look to You
God I look to You, I won't be overwhelmed,
Give me vision, to see things like You do
God I look to You,You're where my help comes from,
Give me wisdom, You know just what to do

I will love you Lord my strength, I will love you Lord my shield
I will love you Lord my rock, forever all my days I will love you God!

Let HIM be who you look to today. May we all have the wisdom to trust Him and the vision to see our circumstances thru His eyes!!! Another pearl of purpose God is creating in me!! :)

What Do You Crave?

As I searched online this morning for the word "cravings", Its no surprise to see that SO MANY people crave sweets. It was sort of funny to see all the pictures of people doing all they could to resist that sweet temptation. But the sweet temptation wasn't what I was looking to expound on. I have craved something pretty consistently for over 13 years especially at bedtime. Never realized it was really a craving...just thought it was normal...that everyone loved it as much as I did. Funny thought now, hindsight.

What craving am I talking about? ICE!! For years...I have had pretty much an uncontrollable desire for ice. I have ALWAYS ordered a drink with extra ice and couldn't wait to finish my drink so I could chomp on it. Popping the cup up to my mouth, tapping the bottom to pour a few pieces into my mouth, and AHHHH......there it was!! The cold sensation of the frozen water, and the awesome feeling I got to chomp away at it. (Always chewing it at the same rhythm according to my oldest daughter! LOL) Then, to swallow...LOVED how it felt to swallow the cold crushed ice and feel it travel down into my warm body. Did I tell you how much I LOVED THIS??!!? LOL

Guess you could tell I got a little too much joy out of this. I truly thought NOTHING of it, at all. I have just always loved it (at least to the best of my memory). I honestly just thought all southerners liked ice as much as I did. Until recently.

I had been having some health difficulties that forced me to go to the doctor. (I really DO NOT like to go to the doctor). But...I had to, I was miserable. Thank goodness...the doctor helped me for the reason I was there. He also wanted to run some bloodwork to make sure there wasn't anything else wrong with my blood count. I was glad he was doing that...just so I knew.

I waited a few days for the report, a little nervous. I had no clue what would come back. To my surprise, only one thing came back low... it was my iron. WHAT?!? I'm anemic?!?! REALLY?!?

Well...I guess that would explain some over-tiredness, some crankiness, some hairloss, etc. Makes sense. So the doctor put me on iron supplements for 3 months and I have to go back to be checked again. (Stay with me...there is a point to this story)

So...I began to take the supplements regularly. I started to feel less tired and sluggish after a while...which is a GREAT thing. But you know what I noticed more than ANYTHING?!? I didn't want to eat my regular glass of ice at bedtime. I would fill my glass up and couldn't wait to eat it...but after one or two bites...I didn't want it.

That was odd to me. No longer when I'd go out to eat would I want to hurry and eat my ice. I didn't crave it anymore. WILD!!! After craving something for SO LONG and to no longer really desire it, out of the blue seemed unbelievable to me.

You have probably already put the pieces together. It was the LOW IRON that was causing my craving for ice. AH HA! THAT was the reason for years that I had desired something I thought was so good. It really wasn't that it was so good, or good for me, it was that my body was deficient and it caused a craving in me for something that really wasn't so good.

Which brings me to my point... how many times in our lives...do we crave - long for something, not necessarily something physical, like ice? It may be a dream, a desire in our hearts that we have. It may be a childhood fantasy, it may be expectations of a spouse or family member, it may be unhealthy addictions.

I have come to the realization that sometimes...we CRAVE things because our spirits are deficient. There is an underlying need that our spirit man craves, yet our soulish man interprets it in a soulish way. Things we can't let go of, things that are unbalanced, mindsets that seem unrealistic. These things, and many other things can truly be signals that we are deficient of the REAL ingredient, the real "mineral", so to speak, in our life.

Once we grab hold of what our spirit is really craving, we will no longer desire things of the flesh.

Galatians 5:16 (NLT) So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves.

Yea...I know...that word "sinful" there makes it seem terrible. But I found this third definition of sinful online. Its a different look at the word.

sinful - far more than usual or expected; "an extraordinary desire for approval"; "it was an over-the-top experience"over-the-top, extraordinary immoderate - beyond reasonable limits; "immoderate laughter"; "immoderate spending"

My craving for ice was to say the least, OVER THE TOP, beyond reasonable limits. Sometimes...the things we desire aren't necessarily BAD things...they just control our lives...our thoughts...our actions. THAT is where it becomes unhealthy. And sometimes...that craving is just a symptom of a lack of the real thing we are missing.

For me, it was the mineral iron. What is it for you? What do you crave that is over the top? What do you desire so much that it seems to control your thoughts and actions. Have you ever thought that it may not be what you really NEED?

I encourage you today, examine your life. Ask God to do a little testing to see if you're out of balance or deficient in any area. If you are...ask Him to show you what you are REALLY needing. When we do that...our unhealthy cravings will no longer be, and we will be filled with what we were MEANT to be filled with.

What do YOU crave today? I would LOVE to hear from anyone on what God shows them!! He is so faithful to show us when we ask!! Have a WONDERFUL day! Blessings!

A Walk With My Master

Today I went on a walk...a walk with my dog. She needs to get out more and it was a beautiful day for a walk for us both, and a good time for me to begin prayer walking. (Something God has put on my heart to do.) As always...when I take "Pretzel" (my dog) out for a walk...she is over zealous and cannot stay at my pace. She races ahead of me with all her excitement. Its obvious she cannot WAIT for this walk that is ahead of us.

As we continued to walk...the more she would get ahead of me...the more I would run out of leash and it would tug at her neck. I KNEW it had to be extremely uncomfortable for her. I kept encouraging her to stay at my pace and not get ahead of me, her master. She tried...but was quite tempted to get ahead of me.

Along the walk...I think she stopped every minute or so...jerking my side of the leash. Causing me to stop and postponing our journey. She was sniffing at every little scent she smelled...making her mark...and distracted by every sound and smell. She couldn't focus on following me and staying with me along the path. I know it is her NATURE as a dog to sniff everything and stop and bark at everything...but it would have made the journey SO MUCH easier and pleasant if she would have just chilled out and followed me! :)

I couldn't help but think about my daily walk with MY master, Christ Jesus. I know there is a journey He, my Heavenly Father, is taking me on. It is beyond what I could ever think or imagine.

1 Corinthians 2:9 says "No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it— What God has arranged for those who love him." (The Message)

That makes me excited to walk with him daily for what He has for me...cause I KNOW its going to be awesome. But like my sweet little dog "Pretzel" I don't always make the journey easier and as pleasant as it should be. I learned some lessons from her.

1. Remember to not get ahead of what God is doing, be sensitive to his pace even if it is slower than what you would like. Getting ahead of him places us in a situation where we could be hanging out on our own, and that could get quite painful not walking in HIS timing and in HIS way. Walk at HIS pace and be content with his timing. Its really the best and quickest way to your destination.

2. Don't get distracted by every little thing that comes your way while you're on your journey. I know it is our nature to get distracted (worry, become fearful, get side tracked, try to fix things ourselves, etc)...just like it was my dogs nature to be distracted by all the scents she was smelling. BUT...sometimes...in order for my journey to be more pleasant and the way the Lord intends...I have to lay aside my "natural tendencies" and just walk straight with him...trusting HIM. No need for me to figure things out...just trust and walk with Him. Its a very difficult thing to do...especially when we are dealing with our "flesh" our natural tendencies. But we can depend on the Holy Spirit to help us daily as we walk on this journey. He will give us the strength and grace to stay focused.

3. When you're tired and don't feel like you can push on...keep on pushing. Sometimes that walk, that journey, is a little longer that you had counted on. You pushed so much up front to make things happen. You got tired quicker than you were counting on. But don't give up...keep on keeping on. Galatians 6:9 says not to grow weary in doing good...for you will reap what you sow if you do not faint!!" Hang in there and keep walking with your Master on the journey He has for you. Refreshment will be at the journeys end.

I promise....the destination He has for us is so much more than we could ever imagine...but its the journey that prepares us to be fruitful and content when we get there.

My walk with my master today was indeed a pearl of purpose. Blessings on you!! Have a wonderful weekend!!

Letting Go

Letting go seems to be something SO HARD to do for this organized...in control girl. I have spent my life setting goals...dreaming dreams...and expecting if I'm prepared and pull my weight...it will all work out as I have planned.

LOL....I can't help but laugh a little....and maybe even see God chuckle with love at me. He in all his creativity made me to be the planner, to be the responsible, get things done and accomplished kind of girl...He knows how I feel most comfortable working. But he ALSO tells me in His Word in Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps" (NLT).

This is a confusing concept for me. I have grappled with it quite a bit over the years. IF...we make our plans...(which is ok to do...) but the Lord determines our steps...then is it even important to set goals...to dream dreams? Am I wasting time and energy on things I THINK are God's will?

I personally STILL don't know this answer. I do know to seek HIM in all I do...and that would include seeking HIS heart and will in my goal planning and dreaming. But at some point...I have begun to look at myself being 40 years old now...and I'm not seeing things that I feel like God placed in me and on my heart come to fruition. I'm not even seeing it GROW for that matter. Is it still there...is it dormant and waiting for the right season still? I don't know.

This I DO KNOW....Scripture tells us in Luke 9:24 "For whoever has a desire to keep his life will have it taken from him, but whoever gives up his life because of me, will keep it." (Basic English Bible).

This can mean so much in a ton of situations. But for this situation....I hear that if I will allow my life to be lost for seeking HIM...it's ok...cause in that loosing of my life and letting go of my life (my goals and dreams)...I will find my life.

It almost doesn't make sense. How in the world can you just let go of things that are so important to you? Its hard....but I am always reminded...unless a seed falls to the ground and dies...it CANNOT bring forth fruit. That seed has to be buried...it has to crack open and allow whats inside to come out. I'm sure that is a painful process. As a matter of fact...I KNOW its a painful process. But....its a PROMISING PROCESS!!! It means when I LET GO OF, BURY, LET DIE the goals and dreams I have in my heart in order to just submit myself to HIM...I will produce fruit and harvest as he promised.

But if I do not let go and try to hold onto my life...I will loose it and in turn will not produce fruit and be fulfilled. It's the way God's economy works. You give in order to receive....you let go in order to keep....you DIE in order to LIVE!

Crazy, I know. I'm learning and doing my best to let go. Its ok for me to dream and goal plan...as long as I lay them at HIS feet. What are you holding onto today? Have you thought about letting it go for HIS sake? After all...it is in loosing ourselves that we will find ourselves. I pray we can all live lives that are full of hope and dreams that are planted deeply in the soil of GOD's heart and plans - ready to bring forth a productive and fulfilling fruit!!

Our Joseph Project

I'm not sure if anyone reads my blog anymore...but I wanted to share our new project here anyway. We are calling our new project "Our Joseph Project. Our website is: www.markandbuffi.shelfreliance.com. What is this all about?!? Read below and you'll see why we're doing it!!

In Genesis, Joseph had direction from the Lord to save a portion of their food for preparation of a time of famine. For over a year now, we have felt a prompting from the Lord to get prepared. This prompting is not out of fear...it is out of a clear direction of something God has put on our heart.

It was quite overwhelming knowing how to get prepared and where to start and we continued to postpone doing anything. We watched the Tsunami in Japan come....crazy winter weather come....and lived through the largest tornado outbreak in the state of Alabama on April 27, 2011. We realized through that event in particular after a week of no power...just how unprepared we were.

We knew...it was time for us to get busy being obedient to what God had placed on our heart. Whether it is a natural disaster, a U.S. financial disaster or even a family crisis of a job loss or hospitalization...we need to be obedient and prepare.

Thus...our Joseph Project and pursuit into Shelf Reliance for our family. We are very excited about the possibility of what it will do for our family...and how we possibly will be able to help those around us. We are just beginning our journey....but it is one we are excited about and cannot wait to learn more about.

We hope you will consider a Joseph Project of your own, having the ability to provide for your family in a time of need...and also having a resource that can reach out and help others in their time of need as well.

PROVERBS 27:12 (TLB) "A sensible man watches for problems ahead and prepares to meet them. The simpleton never looks, and suffers the consequences."

What Do You Want Me To Do?!?!

As parents…we get the joys of watching our children grow up and develop into young men and women. It is incredibly exciting to me to see their personalities develop and their own likes and dislikes begin to form.

We see natural bents in them as far as natural abilities and talents and we encourage them to explore areas where they seem to be gifted and talented. But ultimately….we want them to pursue what will make them happy and fulfilled. It is such a blessing to see your child fulfilled and walking with purpose and direction.

I love it when they come and ask me for advice…ideas…thoughts…but ultimately…it’s up to them to walk out what their hearts desire is. God places a seed inside each one of us…a seed of destiny…and as parents, we help water and nourish that seed…but it is God that causes it to grow. What kind of seed that is will not be revealed until it begins to grow and form. But that seed germinates in our hearts and lives…and through it…our likes and dislikes, dreams and desires are formed.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot…because I’ve sort of been at a crossroads in my life. Turning 40 this year has me thinking a lot about my purpose and what God wants me to do. I SO desire to walk in HIS will and HIS plan…but what I have found myself doing in the last few years is become afraid to do anything…because I wanted it to be HIS plan…and nothing of my own.

I mean…doing HIS will is what my purpose is…and it is what is going to bring me fulfillment. But I keep asking him…Lord, what is it that you have put me here for…what do you want me to do?!?! I get NO ANSWER. I’ve been extremely frustrated because I end up doing nothing, for fear of doing the wrong thing.

That’s when God brought to me the parallel of a parent and child. As our children grow up…I cannot imagine them not being stirred with passion inside themselves for fear of wanting to do what we want them to do. I LOVE it that they would want to please us…but if they constantly waited to do anything until they knew what we wanted them to do…they would either do nothing…or not listen to the passion stir inside their own heart.

That’s what God has been speaking to me….He loves that I want to do His will…but He wants me to trust the seeds of passion and desire that he’s placed in my heart and move forward with what stirs my heart. That stirring is HIS leading. The things that evoke passion and tears in my heart is God’s way of leading me. I need to trust HIM on the inside of me.

I’m not sure if any of you feel the same way. But, I want to encourage you all…as I am encouraging myself…Trust His leading in your heart…Trust the passion and stirring…don't continually stand still waiting for an audible voice or someone to speak to you something specific to do. Move forward in faith on what evokes emotion and passion in you. Don’t minimize what you’re feeling because it’s what you want and desire. Are you not seeking His heart, and will? Then as you delight in him…as you are soft and pliable in him…He will give you the desires of your heart. Those desires…just might be from him…and just might be that little seed of destiny He’s placed inside you to grow and produce great fruit. Listen to your heart, and step out!!! Don’t be afraid. Cause what God wants you to do…He’s already placed inside you. Move with your passion and let God do the rest!!!

A Healthy Endeavor

Well…tonight Mark and I went to the grocery and purchased our first week and a half worth of meals for the Daniel Fast we are about to embark on. While the Daniel Fast is only 21 days…we truly desire for this to be a catapult for our entire family to begin to live a healthier life style. If we cannot take care of our bodies, and keep them healthy…how can we carry out the mission and plan that God has for our lives? We WANT to do all He has planned for us. But….we know it’s not going to be without challenge.

It was sort of comical at the grocery as we were glued to our Daniel fast list and shopped. We stayed mostly in the produce area with a couple of stops at the frozen section and maybe an aisle or two. It was SO foreign to us…because we are used to spending most of our time in all the aisles we shouldn’t. Honestly…we need an “Eating Healthy for Dummies” book. We have spent so many years eating the wrong thing and the wrong way…it’s sort of foreign to us stepping into the right way of eating.

Most of our items we knew what they were…but as embarrassed as we were…we still had to ask a store associate where several things were that we didn’t even know what it was. I mean…what are “pine nuts” and do they come from pine trees?!? What about barley? I know that’s probably a simple one for most of you…but I had NO CLUE what barley was NOR did I know where to look for it. It took the store associate a while to find it as well…but we did. (for the record…it’s like an oat or something….weird! We have a recipe it goes in. We’ll see how it tastes soon enough! LOL!)

Anyway….it was an interesting trip to the grocery, to say the least. Our basket looked like a perfect picture you’d see in some of the most awesome health food ads and stuff. We kind of felt proud of what we’d purchased because we knew it was all healthy, live food and it was all good for us! I pray for this whole time that God will help us be diligent and press through when we are having to eat things that might not be what we normally eat…or that might not even taste good. Cause we know it’s good for us, and we’ll eventually begin to like it because as I’m discovering…we crave what we eat!

With all this in mind…I realized that this journey is one that might not be easy…but I know it is what is best for us. It might take a little…no a LOT of discipline at first…but in time…it will become a delight for us. As is so many things in our Christian walk…from the very first days of being a zealous new believer…to those days when it’s hard to even pick up our Bible and pray. It’s good for us…even when it’s hard for us and we might not want to do it.

So, I look forward to the next 21 days of conditioning and discipline of prayer and promise. I pray that I can press on when its easy…and press on when its hard…that I can remember that what we’re doing is good for us and that it will help us all fulfill all God has planned for us. Pray for us as we do this….pray for our kiddos as they are embarking on a TOTALLY new way of eating. It will be challenging…be we can do it. As we tell our kiddos…we can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives us strength. So here’s to a strong 21 days!!